words in my not so humble opinion have the power to build and destroy equally.
The racket of feelings
The scream of emotions
Words flowing like lava
Burning me inside out.
I yearn for the silence
The freedom to stay quiet
My insides to burn
But unknown to the world
The upsurge of emotions
Tiring every bone in me
As I become the chaos
Breaking my own peace.
Amidst the cacophony of the world
And the noises in the head
The words lost their voice.
Stifled in silence
The sounds were forgotten
Until the walls shattered.
The ruins let voices escape
They screamed over the noises
Over the cacophony of the masses.
The words kept flowing
Breaking the prison of mind
But with no destination in sight.
Now the words hold no meanings
The voices became futile devices
As they escape into the voidness.
Who am I?
The one with mayhem in head
Wrecking everything
That should be held dear.
Or one with mayhem in the heart
Withering away silently
Living in others wishes humbly.
Who am I?
Once in while comes a morning- like a thunderbolt striking-and you cannot get out of the bed, or even open your eyes. You try and struggle in vain, its like something heavy has been placed on your mind and body, unable to move, unable to do anything. You lay there, waiting for the feeling to pass, seconds, minutes, hours- time just withers away. And then finally you are able to move, get out of the bed and try to make something out of the rest of day.
Such days are tiring, mentally and physically- and you cannot put a finger on why exactly it is so. Sometimes such a day comes after a series of stressful and anxious days. But then sometimes it just crash lands on you, out of the blue, those days hit harder, because you don’t know why it happened.
All you can do is get up when you can, push yourself little by little, get few things done or at least try- try to make something out of the day which started out dreadfully. One moment after another you try and regain the day which was otherwise lost to you. And there is your little triumph- you made it through a day that was supposed to be lost to you.
Here stands my glass palace
Between walls of mercy and chaos
Walls the world cannot see into
Days withering unbeknownst.
Somedays I remember too much
Memories clawing out of the walls
Opening the scars sealed shut
Unleashing chaos uncalled for.
And some merciful days
I don’t remember anything at all
A peace settles in all the corners
Giving solace to the chaos.
I met amazing people
Times and conversations deepened
You were a great company to be with
But one day everything changed for this reason.
We shared all the wounds and scars
Unsealed the can of vulnerabilities
But little did I know it wasn’t to be
As I became a project for you to fix.
You treat me like a fragile vase, a charity case
Something that you try to mend on broken days
You saw me vulnerable and at my weakest
And decided to be there only in those moments.
You don’t have any happy memories of me
All you see is a girl with troubles and worries
You will never think of me for merriment
As you will only call upon if I am broken.
Dance with me on the empty streets
Where cobbled stones touch our bare feet
I will hold you under the twinkling night
As we groove on till the rhythm dies.
Sway with me silently into the dawn
When our breaths slow down to sighs
And I will pretend everything is fine
Until the next time nox breaks my mind.
Dance with me in the middle of the night
For we may never see the bright
And I will send you away with a smile
For we may never have been right.
Like the waves of the endless sea teasing the shores
just a touch and go
the wait, the hope-
what is it that I am searching for?
maybe the time in the grains of sand
that got erased by the crashing waves.
I wait for those simple words
on days stifled by silence
I wait for the ray of moonlight
on nights without the stars.
The waiting game, seeking for the unknown
I play the waiting game, hiding from the known.
Awaiting the intoxicating impossibilities
and dreaming of the unspoken chances .
What is it that I am searching for?
The wait, the hope, the waves that touch and go.
Crisis of faith- we humans face this often, reasons for the same may be manifold. Many of us are/were believers because that is what we were brought up into, few of us remained there while few ventured out of it- agnostics to atheism. Faith is and should always be a personal choice- but most of the world is pushed towards a certain belief or faith by pressure of the external influences- this couldn’t be more wrong.
But the main question is why do we believe is something which is physically un-present? Why would we pray and wish at something so intangible? Why do we resort to such a way and not do something by ourselves? These are profound questions of which many philosophers and thinkers have given or tried giving explanations, yet the questions still remain.
There is one simple reason to it though, the deepest and most compelling one maybe. Have you reached a point in your life when nothing, absolutely nothing and no one can save the situation- you are utterly helpless. HELPLESSNESS- complete and utter helplessness- the strongest drive that pushes one into believing that some invisible power might help them out- the last resort. And we just loose track when a last straw like hope became a way out of every hard situation.
HELPLESSNESS- breaks and builds faith.
unsung words 